The “nepo 𝑏𝑎𝑏𝑦” discourse has resurfaced once again on social media after Kim Kardashian and Ye’s eldest daughter recently made her stage debut in “The Lion King 30th Anniversary — A Live-to-Film Concert Event” at the Hollywood Bowl.
Ten-year-old North West performed alongside Jeremy Irons, Billy Eichner and Jennifer Hudson, in a fuzzy costume designed by ERL. Recordings of the performance were posted to social media, sparking a backlash from unimpressed viewers who argued North seemed unprepared for such a high-profile role.
Actor Rosie O’Donnell and singer and screenwriter Nick Atkinson shared similar feelings (although others pointed out that the song West performed, “I Just Can’t Wait to Be King,” is arguably an ode to nepotism.)
Public ire directed at a rich kid enjoying rich-kid perks is not surprising. But I think these discussions too often assign personal blame that is both unhelpful and a little gross.
I can think of very few things more natural than a parent — yes, even a rich parent! — wanting better for their 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥. The desire to provide as many opportunities for your offspring is innate, making nepotism somewhat of an inevitability. And that’s where societal guardrails come in.
Privileged parents who shamelessly bend the rules, exploit loopholes and circumvent fair processes for the sake of their 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥ren should not get a pass just because their behavior is motivated by relatable instincts. Scamming the college admissions process to get your already prosperous kids into elite universities is wrong. Appointing your unqualified 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥ren to government positions simply because you can is wrong. Helping your unprepared 10-year-old leapfrog other more talented 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥ren to secure a leading role is also wrong. And, I’d argue in this case, likely to open your 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥 up to unnecessary but predictable public ridicule.
Studies have shown that despite parents’ best intentions, putting too much pressure on their 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥 to succeed is detrimental to their overall mental health. Children shouldering an undue burden of parental expectations run the risk of everything from negative self-talk and body issues to academic underperformance and social withdrawal.
Perhaps 10-year-old West wanted to be on stage, and her well-connected parents acquiesced by any means necessary. In the age of social media, however, it’s fair to wonder if either caregiver prepared their daughter for the downsides of fame, and the never-ending bombardment of other people’s opinions. Just because North West frequently appears on social media doesn’t mean she’s immune to the potentially serious mental health consequences of social media exposure, especially at this scale.
Society, of course, makes it all the more enticing for wealthy parents to take questionable advantage of their social standing. In a culture infatuated with the rich and famous, plenty of us still obsess over celebrity 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡 announcements, 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡days and noteworthy milestones, as well as the inevitable cameo appearances in television shows, movies and on stage. A quick Google search surfaces headlines like “Every Time We Applauded North West’s Sass,” “North West Flexes Her Grills on Social Media” and “North West Looks Identical to Kim Kardashian in Their Latest Set of Twinning Photos.”
If a celebrity’s job is to entertain the masses and give the people what they want, Kardashian and Ye are certainly delivering.
It’s also important to remember that parental influence and privilege comes in many, many different forms. Private school students are more likely to be admitted to top colleges and universities, yet the average cost of private school nationwide is well over $10,000 a year — an impossibility for a large swath of American families. There’s a reason why most mom influencers are white, just like there’s a reason why too many Black, brown and lower-income mothers lack the support they need. When it comes to making sure everyone has equal access to various opportunities, as a society we have failed, have been failing, and are seemingly on track to continue to fail at every turn.
As a parent, I understand the desire to bulldoze any obstacles my 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥 might encounter on their path to success. As a member of the media industry who grew up in rural Alaska, did not attend an elite journalism school, could not take advantage of an unpaid internship or fellowship and never had a single family member employed at a legacy media organization, I deeply sympathize with those who look at the advantages 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥ren like North West are freely given and react in anger.
But if we as a society really want to see more kids — more theater kids, low-income kids, athletic kids, science kids, LGBTQ+ kids, kids with disabilities, rural kids, inner-city kids — receive the same chances as their wealthy peers, the “village” needs to focus less energy on parents taking advantage of the system as it is designed, and more on changing the system itself.